Skin

I like skin.

Let me rephrase. Explain. Attempt to not sound like a serial killer. ….

When I have a connection with someone, I want you to touch me. But don’t just reach out and touch my shoulder. Find my skin. Sneak your fingertips under my sleeve. Touch my wrist, scratch your nail across my neck. Find that spot of skin that makes me stop and lean into you. And if you are thinking anything sexual then we don’t understand each other. I’m speaking of a human physical connection that comes only after an energy exchange happens. Something inside me needs something inside you to connect to.

This morning my daughter laid her head on my chest where my breast used to be. My fingertips touched the shell of her ear. She snuggled her face in my neck and I ran my hand along the back of her arm until she fell asleep.

Touch is just something I need and I refuse to spend time with people that I don’t want to hug and touch and hold me.

Having had a partner that doesn’t require touch and actively avoids it, and a partner that needed my skin as much as I needed his I recognize exactly the kind of partner I need.

Having a friend that tenses up and a friend that melts when we hug, I recognize exactly the type of person I want to spend time with.

This is where Amber, Summer, Amanda, Pete, Rhonda, Terry, and Brian shine. This is when each of my children know exactly when to grab a blanket and cuddle. That sweet spot. Melting into someone and giving what you have, accepting what is offered. Chin touches me without thought. Alisha hugs me with joy. Geo holds my hand while we talk.

Sometimes it’s very much on purpose. Other times, it’s an organic subconscious moment.

Recently I’ve thought about my abundance of skin and how I used to hate when someone would touch my belly or my old scars. I remember years ago when Amber touched my skin and I was so afraid of what she thought, and a few weeks ago when we stood together touching and she remarked that our bellies were touching and I didnt even notice. H and I were just talking about how wonderful it feels to finally be able to melt into someone…..

I’m so grateful I’ve surrounded myself and surrendered myself to people that need my skin as much as I need theirs.

I love the skin that touches me, the skin I touch.

I love the place I’m in where skin heals me.

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