A cup of tea.

I want this year to be full of subtle change. I simply can not spend another year waiting. But neither can I maintain a consistent sweeping change. I know me.

I’ve got to go about this slowly. Like a river carving a canyon.

I just got my benefits for 2019 that I have been waiting a year on. There’s no hospital coverage, no outpatient coverage, no lab benefit. I can basically go to see the doctor and to urgent care. But I have work history there. So I’m trying to decide financially what’s the best bet. I need a new roof. So on the one hand, I need a new job but with good benefits, or the other hand I need good work history so I can qualify for a home owners loan. If you saw my driveway that no one can drive into, you’d understand.

One thing is for certain, I can’t stay in this limbo.

I realized I wasn’t valued at my job when the new person we hired quipped “Not a bad $$$ an hour” and the money was more than I make. I do a more difficult job with a higher skill level. When this was brought to managements attention, they simply leveled the pay. Now everyone makes the same, even though I do a more difficult job with a higher skill level. But I stayed because on the first I’d be getting benefits. That’s the only reason I stayed. I didn’t get my benefit portal password until *after* the open enrollment ended. I don’t make the money I was promised. I don’t have the shift I was promised. I’m one of three people that stay until 8 pm. People that were just hired have the schedule they chose. I gave my supervisor the three choices I wanted. I didn’t get any of the three choices. They are starting a point system for attendance. If you accumulate a certain amount of points in a 90 day period, you get fired. Saturday’s are double points. If I am sick on a Saturday and one other day in a 90 day period, I’m fired. People that don’t work Saturday, don’t have that fear. Yes…. it’s beyond time to find a new job.

I was really looking forward to 2019. And I am. I’m in a good spot for improvement. I just need to get out of my own way.

I think this year will be lovely. I’ll watch my children continue to improve, I’ll hopefully pay off my car so I can get a loan and get a roof. I’ll get a new job, and finally get the CT scans that’s long overdue. I’m looking toward improving. I have small goals peppered in these bigger ones. I’ve committed to not cutting my hair this year. I am going to clean out my backyard.

First I’m going to make a cup of tea.

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