I’m a month late on my resolutions but I feel like I’m a kid in the sandbox. I’m making a castle made of sand and sweat but some asshat comes along and kicks it. I just started you fucking jerk. … Then I barely start again with sand and sweat and tears on my face. The sun beating down on my neck. The sunscreen is stinging my eyes. The sand is gritty and wet. Here we go.
I start again. Jerks. Again. Fucking Jerks. And again…. Fuuuuuuck. Asshat jerks.
And so it goes. Does everyone experience this? Is everyone building a sandcastle? Does some asshat jerk come along and kick everyone’s castle… Or is it just me?
I guess it doesn’t matter if everyone feels this way or not because I am not living someone else’s life. I’m living mine.
So my resolutions started a little late. Because life. And the flu of 2018 is no joke. It took the stubborn streak I got from my mother and my father to keep me out of the hospital.
So there I am dying at the gym and all I can think is “Don’t cry. Don’t panic. Don’t be overwhelming. Don’t leave.” The tears prickle my eyes when my knees buckle. The sweat collects at the small of my back. By some miracle, I don’t fall.
So I nearly died at the gym building my sandcastle.
But I didn’t. And I signed up for a class tomorrow night.
Asshat jerks can fuck off.