Is that okay with you?

“Are you going to have a wig made or wear scarves?”

Is it okay with you if I’m just bald? I understand that its difficult to look at me. I understand that you are uncomfortable and would prefer that I cover my head so you can pretend that I’m not really sick. You think its hard on you? Then you certainly don’t want to be me. But I’m fine being bald. Really.

“Are you going to get a ‘boob job’?”

No. Its more complicated than that. The lymph nodes, lack of nipple, chest wall, and the remaining presence of my right breast are contributing factors. The insurance and surgical procedure include so much red tape and chest tubes. My answer is no.

“What about a prosthesis?”

That requires a flat chest wall. I currently do not have a flat chest wall. Would it be okay with you if I just had the one breast? I’m trying desperately to live authentically in the body that I have. You aren’t making it easier on me to have to justify my decisions regarding my body. I’m not asking you to understand or accept my decisions.

“When you get a Dom….”

when I get a Dom, what? I’ll be “better”? Is it okay with you if I just sit here for a while without a collar? Or am I not allowed in your club? It doesn’t count to you if I’m a kitten or a little or a brat unless I’m doing those things for someone else? Would it be okay with you if I just wore my tail and and put hello kitty stickers on my hands for fun? I feel like I can do this on my own. I didn’t wanna be in your judgemental club anyways.

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