And the mood swings…

Actually it’s just one mood.

A few months ago my life was pretty great. I decided that I didn’t need to take my meds. Now, I’m not great about taking pills to begin with. I have been known to skip a pill here and there. But there wasn’t anything detrimental to those behaviors.

Until the bright and shiny day I decided not to take my pill on purpose. There were a few left in the bottle and I just put them in my purse.

Everything was great.

I started to cry in the shower about little things but still… Everything was great.

I started to get angry about little things but still… I’m fine. Really.

My house started to go from “lived in and I should really wash the dishes” to “What the fuck happened?” …. But I’m tired and lazy.

My relationship with everyone has slowly started to decay. I see it like a huge wave I’m standing in front of.

Then every little thing hurt. From waking up in the morning to going to sleep at night. I lashed out. I was sensitive and cruel. Then my chest started to hurt and the nightmares returned.

I cried on the way to work. I cried in the shower. I cried about crying.

I didn’t dare talk to anyone about me. But I could talk about Him. And the girls. And work. And… Stuff.

Now he’s gone. And Youngest has requested to go live with her father.

But I’m fine. No really.

Not really.

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One thought on “And the mood swings…

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