Actually it’s just one mood.
A few months ago my life was pretty great. I decided that I didn’t need to take my meds. Now, I’m not great about taking pills to begin with. I have been known to skip a pill here and there. But there wasn’t anything detrimental to those behaviors.
Until the bright and shiny day I decided not to take my pill on purpose. There were a few left in the bottle and I just put them in my purse.
Everything was great.
I started to cry in the shower about little things but still… Everything was great.
I started to get angry about little things but still… I’m fine. Really.
My house started to go from “lived in and I should really wash the dishes” to “What the fuck happened?” …. But I’m tired and lazy.
My relationship with everyone has slowly started to decay. I see it like a huge wave I’m standing in front of.
Then every little thing hurt. From waking up in the morning to going to sleep at night. I lashed out. I was sensitive and cruel. Then my chest started to hurt and the nightmares returned.
I cried on the way to work. I cried in the shower. I cried about crying.
I didn’t dare talk to anyone about me. But I could talk about Him. And the girls. And work. And… Stuff.
Now he’s gone. And Youngest has requested to go live with her father.
But I’m fine. No really.