I met Pete while my Sir was out of town and I went to an event all by myself. There he was standing off to the side, we exchanged pleasantries and later at dinner we sat next to each other. Looking back, it was fate. I felt something. It was unsettling because I had a collar and I kept defining it as a crush. He felt it, too. I think he was as unsettled as I was because whatever this is, is POWERFUL. Emails went back and forth and eventually my former Sir was contacted. We needed to be connected to each other in some way. But the definition was unclear. We texted and had dinner. We had a few long phone calls and a few emails but it doesn’t compare to the pure electricity that happens when Pete and I are together. Pete is a pup. I’m a kitten. We connect. But it’s so much more than that. I’m inadequate attempting to explain this energy vibe connection thing. He’s sexy and strange. And boy does he love his woman. He’s proud of her and that pride just beams from him. I need to state for myself emphatically that whatever this undefined thing is, is so much deeper than a crush and more important than I am comfortable recognizing.
So this weekend I was tired and I hadn’t slept. I’d driven hours and hours. I was grumpy and out of sorts. I was about to pack my bags and leave the hotel without participating in the festivities my friends were excited about. I was headed back to my room to leave when I spotted Pete. We saw each other and ran. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my ribs. We held on to each other like lifelines drowning in a turbulent sea. I didn’t want to let go. And I knew I needed to lick him.
Then I saw Z. His woman. She is full of chaotic good energy. She is larger than life but not brash. We settled into the how are yous and played catch up. I headed back to my room and kept trying to pack to leave. I needed to find some calm and comfort and I wasn’t finding it there. But I wanted more time with Pete. Suddenly I had an inspired thought and I ran to find Z.
I wanted Z to draw on me. It’s my thing and I find it peaceful, relaxing, and sensual. I didn’t have to explain myself at all before she was agreeing. She grabbed a sharpie. I was in the hall with a pile of Littles and Pets. Suddenly I froze. This would require me to take my shirt off in public. I can’t do that.
Pete placed his hand on me and soothed my stormy brain. He said “You’re beautiful and sexy and fucking bad ass. Breathe.” I gripped the back of my shirt, whipped it over my head and wadded it up in my lap. I squeezed my eyes shut and silently begged the Boobie Gods for some kind of mercy. Z was busy shooting some reiki my way and Pete engaged the little near him. I opened my eyes and to my shock noone was gawking. In fact, noone really noticed.
People walked by and said hi. They said hi as if I weren’t shirtless with one breast. They looked at my face and then glanced at the masterpiece being created on my back. I laid my head in Pete’s lap. I licked his skin and he asked me if I felt “this” gesturing to the air in between him and I with anyone else. I said no, never. He confirmed. Z listened intently as she finished my back.
I was in a shared space with strangers without a shirt on and felt nothing but love and acceptance. I think it’s because of this weird thing with Pete. He steadied me. I was naked and I felt… Powerful. That’s never happened before.
This experience is one I will take with me on my journey. I wish Pete knew what he did and how cherished he is.