Disclaimer: this will be sexual in nature.

My ex husband slowly stopped performing oral sex. I could go into the reasons he gave me. My former Sir has only performed oral a handful of times over 8 years. I could explain what he told me. The current back and forth guy has explained why he doesn’t. Every lover I’ve had in the past has either bypassed that particular act or given it just enough effort to make asking for a blowjob acceptable. When EVERYONE, every. single.lover., you have ever had doesn’t give, it pretty much solidifies in your head that there is something wrong with you.
Once, after the break up with my former Sir, I dated my boss. Huge mistake but I won’t go into that here. Anyways, I decided to try being bolder. I didn’t really want to spend months dropping hints that were blatantly ignored. I just gripped his hair and shoved him in that general direction. In one smooth graceful move he glided down my body and off the bed as if he meant to stand up. He handed me a bottle of water like it was halftime. I felt rejected and defective.

Along comes The Chef. It was a one night stand. We understand that we are not going to be significant for the other person. We are adults. It is what it is. I was completely shocked and amazed when the impossible happens. It was like Aphrodite came down from the heavens and blessed this man’s tongue. The stars aligned perfectly and I forgot my own name for a while.

Dude needs to teach a class or something.

I was told that he doesn’t like my flavor, or that he had chronic sinus issues, or that I was fat and he couldn’t breathe (even after I lost a bunch of weight), or that he was cheated on and didn’t trust that someone else’s “jizz” could still be present, or that it wasn’t his thing, or he wasn’t good at it, or he didn’t perform a submissive act, or he just doesn’t because it hurts his neck…..
The Chef had no problems, no excuses, and actually said he enjoyed himself.
For the last 15 years I’ve thought that I am defective, that I don’t deserve this simple pleasurable act, that there MUST be something wrong with me. It’s really nice to know for at least one man, that isn’t true. Really nice.


One thought on “Downtown 

  1. You are not the defective one. They are. A real man revels in the woman he’s with. A real lover loves everything about their partner, whether it’s temp or perm. If they make excuses, they are neither.


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