January I was so sick I didn’t know how much longer I could do it.
February brought my 16th chemo treatment and a Valentine’s Day alone. Also rape.
March brought me back to work, a whole new level of exhausted, and a return of my Former Sir.
April was a forced resignation, a flare of lymphadema, and my daughter dropping out of school.
May is a blur of relationships exploding and my Kia following suit.
June. My Boo is gone. I can’t breathe and I can’t stop breathing.
July is a blur of bullshit pain.
August is an attempt at a fresh start. It doesn’t go well.
September is just an attempt at normal. Normal doesn’t seem to be possible. Jobless. Homeless. Fearful.
October seems to be the month everything turns around.Bought a house. Got a job. Oh no… Just kidding. Relationship explosion. And I need a new roof. Which doesn’t compare to June but still.
November is another stabilizing month full of restarts.
December just kidding. That spot that was “nothing” is actually emphysema. And triple positive… No no we meant triple negative, here’s a new med to fuck everything up.
I have loved and lost and lived. I’ve suffered enough for several lifetimes before 2016. I thought I could handle anything thrown my way after 2013, 14,15. Nothing compares to 2016. Nothing.
There were amazing things that happened. New job, new house, new car, new hair. All of my children are healthy, productive, creative people. I have a strange new relationship thing that’s happening. We got a puppy and a kitten. But man I’m tired.
2017 come on!!!