Jacob got crushed by a car. Driving across the bridge in a desperate attempt to find my Summer, I dialed the Elder. I told her, panic and shock in my voice,  about Jacob. Before I rung off, I hastily stopped her. “WAIT” I screamed into the phone. 

“I love you. I need you to know it. Feel it. Never ever doubt it. Never. Know it like… gravity. I love you. Like gravity.” 

“I know Mom. I love you like gravity, too.”

I hung up the phone and glanced over at Middle Child driving. 

“Do you think she knows, do you know?” 

“Yes, I know.  We know. I love you, too.”

“Good. I’m going to tell you over and over. Because Jacob loves Summer, and he… ”

“Shhhhh we will get there soon”.

The days have blurred from one tragic moment to the next. I ran into my brother and told him I loved him. I added “like gravity” and he chuckled. I was standing on my porch in the dark and threw into the wind my words of love and the addition hoping Boo would find my words floating. I sent Heather a text telling her. Her simple acceptance, I’m grateful. I find my Summer and I hold her hands and I stare into her eyes. I send messages to Sophie and Greg and tell them. I watch as a syringe drops to the ground, just lucky it wasn’t a vile of blood. Gravity. 

Today is the first day that tragedy hasn’t slapped me in the face. I’m holding on. I’m still here. Trying for steady grace, like gravity. 

I breathe air into my lungs, ragged and tired. But my toes grip the earth and I know that gravity has me.

The days to come will be filled to the brim with… life. I’ll be holding on… like gravity. 


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