black and blue and bouncing

I am riding the wave from logic to emotion to logic and back again over and over and over with no end in sight. I want to believe that we are all right where we are supposed to be right when we need to be there. I need to believe that. 

Right now, I’m in the middle. I’m miles away from home. I technically don’t have a home, that’s never happened to me. I did this believing that if I left the place where everything happened I’d be better. That didn’t happen. Lots of things aren’t happening. My entire life is in limbo. 

I’d like for logic to win this one. I’d like to be a graceful, sophisticated woman. I’d like to have someone look at me with pride. Right now I have my daughter’s boss apologizing “sorry about your mom going crazy”. Right now I have alienated my friends. Right now I have my own self to blame, of course. 
So I guess I am right where I am supposed to be. 

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