It’s familiar. It’s comforting. It soothes me and comforts me. Pain is my old friend.
Pain overshadows joy or happiness. Pain doesn’t leave you like comfort does. Pain wraps you in strong arms and a seductive tongue touches your skin.
The tongue of pain licks at your neck and slides across your pulse.
Pain is subtle and oh so sweet. It hurts just a little at first. The rush of adrenaline feeds the pain, assuring a return. Then the pain begins to slowly grow like a cancer.
I am tired. I could go down the list from the last 3 years. Pain just sits here. Like this is where pain lives. Like pain has a right to stay here.
I am desperately hoping that my heart continues to beat, and that blood is pumped slowly through my body. I am desperately hoping that with each beat and rush of blood, that the pain flowing through my body will recognize it’s futile efforts and leave.
My great fear is that pain is here to stay coursing through my blood and heart and brain. My great fear is that pain will take its seductive tongue and lick me with it until I surrender.
I won’t. I can’t. Much as I want to, I can’t allow pain to stay much longer.
I need to be done with pain.
When will I be done? Soon I hope.