authentic self

My ex told me of an idea a woman he has a crush on told him.  Then a friend and I had a meandering conversation along the same lines. They are my very favorite kinds of conversations. Plus this journal has sat, half written and lingering out of fear.

I love a photo of a beautiful woman with perfect lighting where her leg is just so and the shadow falls across perfectly and the light reflects a creamy spot of skin or lace. I love the moment light catches leather. I adore finding refract and watching the change of angle.

I am in no way disparaging the usefulness of a strategic manufactured photograph.  Even my snaps have filters.This is what I’m comfortable doing. It’s what I’m comfortable seeing.
Crop this. Edit that. Filter. Delete. Suck in. Hide. Camouflage.

It isn’t real. And that’s fine.

But wouldn’t it be great if along with the boudoir photographs and the instagram filters, the grainy black and whites and the perfect poses, if we saw a real person?

What’s wrong with real? Flaws can ride along with fantasy, can’t it? What if a candid moment was captured and printed for the world to see?

Those real moments when the subject’s walls have come down and the stark truth steps out. That moment in time when she chooses not to hide. What if she dared to be ugly? Truth is beauty. Ugly can be lovely. Can’t it?

Cellulite. Stretch marks. Fat rolls. Wrinkles. Double chins. Bones. Dark circles. Messy kitchens. Couches covered in dog hair.

Could you look? Could you look without judgement? The real question is could you look at her and still find her striking, stunning, alluring, sexy, sultry, beautiful?

I want to look at the candid picture you didn’t know was being taken and I want to see the brave beauty in everyday life.

Don’t pose for me. Don’t suck in. Don’t arch your back. Don’t add anything or take anything away. Just let me see. Let me look.

I know the icy sickness sliding down your spine and the reflex to cover up. I understand the need to be better than we actually are. My bathroom is full of concealer and creams. My drawer is full of control top hose.

But let’s be brave together occasionally. Let’s post that picture of an ordinary girl in her ordinary life.

Let’s find her extraordinary.IMAG0035


One thought on “authentic self

  1. OMG, this is beautiful! Finally I have wanted these beautiful words in this gorgeous head come out of that delicious mouth.


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